So often what we do is all about momentum - getting into the flow. Doing something regularly enough that each time you do it, it gets easier. When you start running, its hard, painful, not fun. But you keep going and suddenly one day, the miles fall away and you're in the zone. Its hard but fun. You enjoy it so much, you're eager to go again. You look forward to it, make time for it, obsess over it. However, if you stop running for any reason, you quickly regress back to those painful early stages and its easy to put off or forget about it - to give up.
Creativity is the same. The more you do it, the easier it gets, the more you have to do it. But stop and the skills fade, the desire weakens and it gets so easy to let it drop.
When I start Writing HE WHO FIGHTS, I had just finished my second book, I had signed with an agent who filled me full of confidence and I finished the first draft in just under 5 months. Working with him allowed the rewriting process to fly by, kept my hunger up. I felt I was so close to succeeding in my dream to being a writer.
Then stuff happened. He closed down his agency to write himself. I moved countries and started a new job that was extremely time consuming. The thought of hunting for an agent again depressed me and demotivated me. Time seemed to slip through my fingers and progress on the book slowed, then all but stopped. I set myself deadlines but each one passed, not me further back. I even thought about just giving up, throwing away 18 months work.
But I know the only person who can stop me achieving my dream is me.
Now is the time to dig deep. Grit my teeth and work hard. Put the yards in, knowing it will get easier. It will get better. I just need to rebuild that momentum.